Most of us don’t reach out when we have issues. We may share with a select few but internally we don’t really take anyone else’s opinion. I have always believed that my initial reaction is best. The problem with that is I like many others second guess myself.
The reason we don’t trust ourselves is we have forgotten “how” to listen. Separating from the noise of society has become near impossible. Knowing that you can have unlimited amounts of information at you fingertips is hard to give up. Granted most of the information we use is useless societal noise.
We have to learn to take a break from this to allow a mindlessness to come. This can be done through many forms of training and it most certainly takes training. Anything that you do that takes complete mind control where every aspect of yourself is focused to the point of completeness will be necessary. Archery, painting, yoga, chess, weightlifting, and my personal favorite jiu-jitsu are known ways of achieving this.
Once you have entered this state you simply enjoy it. After is when your mind is open to what you input. This is the area and the time for introspection this is where your true feelings can be heard. This is the connection we have lost.
Decisions made in truth are the only ones worth making. Listening to yourself is the way to happiness though you may be ostracized for your views. Make your own true decisions in life and stand firm in them. Take council but know where you stand first.
We don’t have the conversations we are supposed to. We sit on things for too long waiting on someone else to bring them up. The very idea of having to talk to someone about your real feelings is terrifying. The problem is if you need to talk about it then it clearly is an issue. But how do you let the other party/parties understand that it is not personal it is not about changing them but about being heard? Sometimes change will be required, some things people cannot handle or live with. But compromise can still be made. Many times people do not realize what they are doing bothers you, at other times they simply don’t care. You have to figure out which one of these is actually being done with intent. It all matters, each transaction between two people tips the scales to one side or another. Once the scales have fallen so far they cannot be re-balanced. Human beings only have so much in them that they can give before they feel the needs to fight back.
I truly believe that there are people in this world who were not meant to have easy lives. These people are not meant to be happy they have somehow drawn the short straw in the universe. Think about the people in your life, now think about the ones who always seem to have that dark cloud following them waiting to find another chance to strike. We all know them and if you don’t you just might be them. I have seen this take form in the old, young, rich, or poor. Simply put for whatever reason the odds are not in your favor. How do you live with this, better yet how do you love like this? There are clearly no guarantees in life which makes it harder to justify not taking some risks but for the most part humans have lost the hunger for the fight. The fight for life good or bad is in every micro transaction that you make. The words you say the decisions you make all of it matters. People really don’t want the battle anymore. We take our luxuries and our hate and gossip and it has spread like a plague. We are, on a large scale a dying parasite on a long drained host. The world has no room left for the hate and distrust that we are sending out to each other. The original question stands how do we make others happy if we are ourselves not? How can we change for the better when we are spending most of our days working for someone else’s pockets and greed? How do we really teach our children love and kindness when those same greedy people have us working so much other people raise our children? It is no longer about small systematic change it is now about global change. WE ARE DYING, we as a race are putting ourselves on the endangered list. It is time for radical change in both government body and way of thinking without which we may not see another two or three generations. I ask again, how do you make someone else happy if you are not?
This is going to be a bit of a different piece. This will be a multiple part piece developed over the next few weeks. This series of works will be dedicated to the dumbing down of the generations. Or what I and other like minded people have come to call the Pussification of America (and all of the worlds new generations).
Stop Apologizing for who you are. This is the easiest step to inner peace yet for most is completely out of reach in their minds. We have somehow developed our new generations to be “hurt” by words. There are safe rooms on college campus where people who feel confronted our hurt by someone’s ideas can go for a timeout. I’m serious people these safe rooms are allowed for use even if you feel confronted by something a professor say’s to you. The purpose of a University level education is to broaden your minds, to be challenged in your views. Let’s be honest most individuals at a college age have one of two views about life, love, and politics. Either they have one or both of their parents views on these subjects or they have been at school long enough to think they know something and now have adopted one of their favorite professors’ stances. College is supposed to help you learn but more so it is supposed to challenge your ideas so you can confidently defend them with critical thinking and an academic level argument. To bring it back to the opening line how can I say “stop apologizing for who you are”, and then attack those that need a “time out” for confrontation? It is simple really they are not naturally that way. We as a human species are at our core animals, clearly we will always have weaker or less competent of every type of species but ours is the only one to coddle these members of the species. Society has seen the need to hold everyone’s hand, to never let them fail this in itself is the problem. Life is about failure, life is about who you are when you are losing and at your worst. This is where the real version of yourself comes out. We are doing a disservice to our future by not allowing them to fall on their face. We gave federal programs to insure we all take the same test. These test are shown to be of a lesser education level than many other countries around the world. Some states even have social promotions which at their best are, “oh you’re of a certain age so you get to move up and be someone else’s problem”. I have had the good fortune to live in multiple parts of the country and have friends that live in different parts of the world. In America the test may be the same but my experiences showed me that a Midwestern state could be two to three years more advanced in their studies than the south where I would go on to finish my high school education. How can this happen, how are we not giving our kids the best education?How can we justify spending so little money on our children’s education and health? I promise you people if we aren’t educating and challenging our next generations then we are preparing our own demise.
Allowing yourself to take a breather is all we can really do in this world. This life is by no means easy and to each individual their personal fight is rightfully their own demon so who can judge the impact. The drowning feeling we can feel when it all comes boiling over caused by work, family, kids, money, can be crippling. This feeling is known by us all, we schedule and put so many things in our lives we never have time to breathe. Today people have forgotten the importance of taking time with yourself a walk in the park, meditation, playing an instrument, or simply listening to the wind. With technology as it is the constant mental bombardment of information (mostly useless) at our fingertips is almost unlimited. The majority of people have a screen of some type in your face almost all day. Breath is life humans are made to run, jump, lift, fight, hunt, yet most of us work, and have some sort of home life. Yes some work out but given the demands of the outside world who really lives like they should. We as people have forgotten we need to breath, we have forgotten we are in control. It is beyond time we stopped allowing our lives to be lived for us. Take back you schedules, take back your families, and just breath.
Why do we feel we own our children? Why is it adults in general lord over children as if they didn’t matter. Now that may seem to the extreme, really think about it though and you may see another side of your interactions with children. Now I don’t say this lightly as a father I know that we parents and adults are responsible for the care and raising of our children. We are financially responsible and culturally looked upon as the reason for their behavior. In part this is true, we are the example they live by if we are hands on parents and all of the micro transactions matter. How many times has your child voiced an opinion only to be swept aside because you simply can’t listen right now? How many times have you cut them off because you were running late? Most importantly if you did something considered “wrong” and your punishment was for someone to physically spank you, pop you in the mouth, or jerk you aside by the arm (all popular versions of parent corporal punishment) to make you behave how would you feel? We raise our voices and our hands to our children with the thought that they need to be “trained”, this specially is what is wrong with our human interaction skills. Do what I say or I will make you, either physically or through fear itself. Hear me when I say I believe in children behaving but if something takes an extra ten minutes to be worked out through proper explanation and reasoning then it is completely worth it. Though yet undeveloped in such ways as all young species are they are still autonomous. Children are people they are every bit as conscious and responsible for their own lives as we “bigger” children are. 2 till 20 makes no difference in the consciousness of inner thought and development. Isn’t it time we stop teaching our children by force and dominance and start teaching them to make good decisions on their own so the world can prosper.
We all want it easy. Whether it is physical or spiritual we all want life to be easy. Why? Why do you want the path of least resistance? Fear is what keeps people in self check. It will not allow them to take the path that is difficult. Fear, pain, discomfort or even the mere idea of it is enough to stop people in their tracks. On the other side you have those that are labeled “adrenaline junkies” they see the world different, they see the world as their playground. Now I don’t want this to just be about the physical because we all know those people who will dive off of that cliff or climb that mountain while the rest of their friends just stand in awe (or fear). The people I want to get to know are the people who are unafraid to feel joy in their minds. They will take that rush towards the goals of business, their daily lives, and every aspect of their self. These people are the trailblazers, the torch carriers, quite simply the future. Here is the question…Can you become one then turn to the other? Can you shake off a life of fear to try the things you’ve always wanted to do? Start small, learn that instrument you always wanted to. Take that vacation you meant to five years ago. As always take care of your business then allow yourself the freedom to do those things you’ve always wanted. No fear, no excuses. The other side of the situation is less noteworthy Some people start life and live it as they see fit. Something along the way happens and they are crippled for life. Loss of family or an experience gone wrong they just stop living they won’t allow themselves to restart their life.